The School
The long corridors were dark and threatening, and he was so small: the tall windows did not let any light in, the ancient floors creaked menacingly.
He clinched his fists, thought of his mother, of the sweetness of being close to her, and, now, of the pain of being so far away – for how long?
In the courtyard he was at first frightened by the other boys, so noisy, looking so much older than him, then he realised they were looking at him, respectfully.
He was one of the smaller boys, but also so fast, and then, his fists: he had to fight once, and then there was peace, although he was punished, for four Sundays, sweeping the floors, doing the chores, but left alone.
He was not lost there, he’d fight his way, the way of the Samurai. Alone.
That was so sweet and strong and lonely and promising in such a short peek. I loved that.
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A profound piece. Very effective writing, Honoré. 🙂
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Very descriptive and great with the picture. Thanks! Dropping in from Five Sentence Fiction.
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ah, so lovely, dear Honoré. Your sentences are full of detail and nuance, yet somehow not overdone at all. I agree with Quirina…very effective writing!
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Loved your take on the prompt….much enjoyed!
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I am always fascinated by the mindset of a Samurai warrior–a breed that stands alone. The combination of the picture and your words had me time-traveling…
http://www.thejadedlens.com/2012/06/08/francesca/
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Lovely picture to go with your story 🙂
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I love the boy’s realization of his strength; different than the others, but no less worthy of respect. Nicely done.
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Beautiful descriptions! I also love the independent way he feels and how he continues to fight his way through life. Very powerful and inspiring!
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LIkey, likey, likey!! Small does not mean weak and the realisation of his strength is lovely to read. xxx
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Thanks to the image, I had a sense of where you were going with this and I can see how it could apply to so many other “schools of life” like the military. Nice piece.
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great inner journey portrayed
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This reminds me of a friend who was sequestered as a child in a strict, private military school, who was constantly bullied and taunted because he was overweight. Good work. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
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a very nice story short yet speaks volumes
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I love the way his quiet strenght is spoken so loudly in these sentences! Nice job 🙂
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